26 August 2008
21 August 2008
Birthday Wishes
Pain. Chronic pain. Pain that sneaks up on me and has no identifiable source. Others don't believe it's as severe as my symptoms indicate. Some don't believe it's even real because they cannot understand it. Living with chronic pain is like living with a shameful secret. I make excuses for myself. Making up little stories that attribute this to lifting too much, walking too much, sleeping too little, making god angry... Anything to give my pain a source and a solution.
It could be a friend I met in college that I don't want to talk to anymore, but she keeps calling me drunk at 2pm while I'm at work, and I just can't convince her she's not welcome to call me anymore without being impolite. I guess the parallel to rudeness here would be surgery. I know what you're thinking. Why not just have the surgery? If anyone has $30,000 dollars they aren't using at the moment, I would like to take this moment to solicit your kindness toward my hip, my lies, my alcoholic college friend.
Consider it a late birthday present.
It could be a friend I met in college that I don't want to talk to anymore, but she keeps calling me drunk at 2pm while I'm at work, and I just can't convince her she's not welcome to call me anymore without being impolite. I guess the parallel to rudeness here would be surgery. I know what you're thinking. Why not just have the surgery? If anyone has $30,000 dollars they aren't using at the moment, I would like to take this moment to solicit your kindness toward my hip, my lies, my alcoholic college friend.
Consider it a late birthday present.
15 August 2008
The Horror
it's because they can't stand to look at the dismal breakroom or their
dismal lives.
14 August 2008
1984
I've been reading 1984 lately. I downloaded an application on my iphone that allows me to read public domain books for free on my phone. This has come in handy recently. Andrew was in a wedding on the 8th of August, and because I don't have a car, I got to tag along for all the long hours of "moral support" required for the wedding and preparation. Which really just means not treading on anybody's toes, therefore staying longer than I want, listening to several odious groomsmen talk about sex organs and alcohol, and reading 1984 on my phone, trying to be inconspicuous. Anyway, it seems all I have to do is mention that I'm reading 1984, which will either shut odious groomsmen up or offend soon-to-be mothers-in-law. But my thoughts on the American wedding are thoughts best left to another blog.
I've also been reading Einstein, His Life and Universe. I find it interesting to note how a relative view of reality could almost be logical in Winston's world. Which is of course what Orwell wanted us to worry about. Although Einstein's theory of relativity was frequently misunderstood for relativism, which Einstein himself denounced, it is interesting to note a trend of the two phenomenons, perhaps the one encouraging the latter.
The thing that bothers Winston the most is he is that he can't prove (or even believe) that the memories he has--specific memories of a past different from that claimed by Big Brother--are in fact true. He isn't worried that he is mistaken. He's worried that if everyone says and believes something that didn't happen, does it change the nature of truth itself? Just as Einstein's critics found it hard to swallow that a rigid measuring rod could be a different length to two separate observers under certain circumstances *note to self: learn to articulate this thought experiment*, even when his thought experiment indicated this was the inevitable consequence of assuming a constant speed of light, we find it hard to understand Winston's nebulous idea of truth. But in Winston's world, that's the only reference he has. And to Einstein, the facts, such as they are, don't lie.
I've also been reading Einstein, His Life and Universe. I find it interesting to note how a relative view of reality could almost be logical in Winston's world. Which is of course what Orwell wanted us to worry about. Although Einstein's theory of relativity was frequently misunderstood for relativism, which Einstein himself denounced, it is interesting to note a trend of the two phenomenons, perhaps the one encouraging the latter.
The thing that bothers Winston the most is he is that he can't prove (or even believe) that the memories he has--specific memories of a past different from that claimed by Big Brother--are in fact true. He isn't worried that he is mistaken. He's worried that if everyone says and believes something that didn't happen, does it change the nature of truth itself? Just as Einstein's critics found it hard to swallow that a rigid measuring rod could be a different length to two separate observers under certain circumstances *note to self: learn to articulate this thought experiment*, even when his thought experiment indicated this was the inevitable consequence of assuming a constant speed of light, we find it hard to understand Winston's nebulous idea of truth. But in Winston's world, that's the only reference he has. And to Einstein, the facts, such as they are, don't lie.
13 August 2008
Movement
beginning of an enormous mess.
12 August 2008
Prelude to the First Blog
I feel like I was working hard all my life to achieve some wondrous accomplishment that I couldn't even articulate or understand. Now I'm past the pre-defined waiting period, and I'm not anywhere. Now I'm doing nothing. I don't want to work hard anymore, on anything. I'm waiting for my life to begin, but doing nothing to get it started. All my life has simply been a prelude to this nothingness. It's all a perpetual prelude.
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