Star Children

I attended a lecture by Lawrence Kraus the other day at the IHR. It is part of a faculty seminar that is exploring "origins." I'm not sure exactly what he had to add to the origins discussion other than to point out that we are "star children," (which I must say, was moving and poetic--we are all composed from the atoms of long-dead stars) but he did spark interesting discussion about the role of humanities in science. He said that he feels philosophy is pretty useless and should not have much of a role in universities and especially not in science.

Congestion

I just read this interesting post from BikePortland.org (via my favorite brother) about how turning off traffic lights in one small town in England actually decreased travel time and made everyone stop acting like bunch of toddlers with driver licenses.

I've actually seen something like this before and never stopped to think about it. When the power goes out on a light, people approach the light slowly, cautiously. They take turns, being very careful to make sure the next person in line is the next person to go. It's amazing. Drivers do this without getting together and talking about it or voting on it or even being told to. They just do it.

A Voice in the Wind

I just saw yet another article on Engadget about how Android sales are overtaking the iPhone (and other smartphone OS). I rarely actually read these any more because I am so tired of the media (yes, I'm referring to Engadget and its tech-blog cronies as media) constructing this Apple vs Android war.

Identity

Last week I started a D&D game with some fellow grad students. Three of them I know and have socialized with before. Two, including the DM, I had never met in person. I was approached by the DM about what type of character I'd like to play. I'm fairly new to D&D, only ever having played a few times with the older version in 2003/4, so I had a vague idea of who I wanted to be. Negotiating that sort of vague and nebulous identity with the DM via facebook prior to the game, while being simultaneously aware that I would be meeting him in person and having to relate with him on that level was really interesting to think about rhetorically, after I stopped panicking about it.

Compromise

Compromise is a part of every relationship. Usually I think when people imagine compromise, they imagine some magical solution that everyone is 100% happy with. But that's not what compromise is. It's more likely that at least one of the parties will be distinctly unhappy with a portion of the compromise.

People don't like to hear that. In politics, voters don't appear to understand compromise. They see that their politician has betrayed them and their interests. And unfortunately, this is where compromise would be really helpful. Jon Stewart's Rally to Restore Sanity (link here, embedding messed up my formatting) is based on the idea that 70-85% of the population could live with the compromises that politicians could probably come up with, but they are too busy having "shit to do" that they are not as vocal as the other 15-30%, thus, compromise never happens. I really hope that's the truth.

Seven of One

At my last meeting with my advisor, I mentioned my obsession with Seven of Nine and the blog posts I made summarizing the episodes she appears in (obviously it's relevant), and she suggested that it might be relevant to contextualize the concept of cyborgs for our readings. She actually seemed surprised I hadn't made the connection already. So last night (why do it ahead of time if you can wait till the last minute?) while I was reading through my blogs and skimming through some Voyager episodes, I asked myself why I hadn't made the connection. Borgs are pretty much always on my mind, at least in the periphery, because Star Trek: Voyager is something I'm pretty passionate about. I think the reason is that I haven't been able to fully articulate why I find Seven of Nine and her struggle with her Borg and Human natures so compelling.

New Year

Periodically I get unhappy with the direction my life is going. Read: I get jealous of other people I know who are doing things I wish I were doing. New year seems like a good time to explore these feelings. The new year always comes with a sense of possibility and change. I realize this is largely a construct, because what makes December 31st different from January 1st is about 30 seconds of sunlight, but it's good to look back and look forward at a significant time.

I never really want to go out and party for new year. Or any other time, really. I'd much rather have a private party with my friends. But this year, Andrew and I are in Phoenix essentially alone. So, the only option besides staying in alone with the cat is going out with strangers and feeling connected to the world at large instead of basking in the glow of friendship. But I imagine the hassle of getting there and back, the MONEY OMG it's not cheap to go to the Fiesta Bowl block party, and the boredom that comes from standing in a loud crowd for several hours doing nothing, and I don't really want to go. But I don't really want to stay at home alone. I feel like to make my life worth living I should be out doing interesting and unusual things to mark the passage of time.

Which of course brings me to my thoughts on the direction my life is headed in general. I love traveling. When I hear about friends who get to travel all over the place for their school or their jobs, or get to meet interesting people in the course of their work... I think about how I mostly watch Star Trek and surf the internet and wonder how I can make that into a jet-setting career path. I get so jealous. And what better time of the year than new year to think about changes I can make to have the life I want? Yet, it doesn't seem likely that getting my degree in rhetoric and composition will further those goals.

Not that I don't love my master's program! I do. But I wish I could make it more amazing. I wish I knew what I wanted.

The Future

Today wasn't a great day. I spent all day questioning my own reading of everything. I must constantly try to orient myself again around the central goal that brings me here to Arizona, getting my degree in Rhetoric and Composition. I have to remind myself that I don't want to end up in academia, so my frustration with academia doesn't bog me down and make me feel at a dead-end. What I'm reading and doing right now seems to be focused around academia. Certainly my research methods class is teaching me how to enter into academic discourse successfully and authentically. But it seems disingenuous to try to be authentic at this point, because I am so new to this, and I don't feel that I need to be able to do it other than to pass the class. And I hate feeling like what I'm doing is for nothing. However, even though I keep telling myself I don't want to end up in academia, I keep finding myself thinking about how children can be better prepared for life and more successful in academia while they are required to be there. (This could very likely be because I like to blame my education for my deficiencies, and I hope that a carefully planned life course would make the road smoother for future generations). Mostly my ideas revolve around ways to make education less rigid and scholarly, with the hope that students will learn better that way, even though it seems counter-intuitive. Maybe I can somehow link my recurring thoughts of education, literacies, digital and social media, and the environment together into some grand idea that will change the world. On the other hand, changing the world seems so unlikely, since today has confirmed for me that I'm ignorant, lazy, and possibly mentally deficient. Perhaps tomorrow would be a better day to reexamine these ideas.

Time Management

Thoughts for today:
I need to manage my time better. The trouble is, I find that I procrastinate by doing work that isn't strictly necessary, or spending longer on a task than is needed. So, I've stopped hiding in my room watching Desperate Housewives or playing the Sims, but I haven't really progressed much.